


why can't you see that it's you?

by drywitticisms



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Infidelity, F/M, Infidelity, Mutual Pining, Sharing Body Heat, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:54:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25352791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drywitticisms/pseuds/drywitticisms
Summary: After Alexander is blindsided by the news of Angelica's impending nuptials to one John Church, he visits her afterwards in an attempt to gain clarity and peace of mind. Modern AU.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/Angelica Schuyler
Comments: 10
Kudos: 61





	why can't you see that it's you?

**Author's Note:**

> Not only did I struggle with this summary, but I struggled with the title too. I didn't struggle with the story at all; that was the easy part honestly. Finding the perfect title & summary is a bitch. 
> 
> Anyway, this gets as close to crossing the line between our favorite couple as possible without actually crossing the line. Honestly, you may even think this is crossing the line, which is a very valid thought but PLEASE take heed of the tags. 
> 
> P.S. The title of the story comes from Niia's "All I Need." You guys should definitely give that song a listen; it is AMAZING.

“Alexander, come downstairs!” Eliza exclaimed.

Looking over his writing on his laptop one last time, he closed the lid and began walking downstairs towards his wife.

Once he stepped off the last stair, he was suddenly face to face with Eliza and Angelica.

They were both standing there with identical knowing smiles. 

He could tell they wanted to tell him something; he could practically see the excitement vibrating through their bodies and under their skin.

“What’s going on? You’re scaring me.” He half-joked.

“Should you tell him or should I?” Eliza asked.

“It is my news, so it would be more fitting if it came from me.” Angelica said

“Tell me what? What’s going on?” He repeated.

“I’m getting married!” Angelica exclaimed as she lifted her hand to show him the shiny diamond.

With that, Eliza squealed and jumped up and down in place.

Alexander felt his heart drop to his stomach with those words. 

Forcing a fake smile on his face, he walked towards her and wrapped her in his arms, “Congratulations! I didn’t even know you were getting that serious with anyone.”

“I know! It’s great, isn’t it?” Eliza asked with a large smile.

He simply stared at Angelica as she fidgeted under his gaze.

"It's awesome!" He finally said, "If there's one person in this world that deserves happiness, it's you."

Angelica smiled at his words, "Thank you, Alexander."

"You're successful and beautiful; you’re the whole package. What man wouldn't want that in a wife?" 

"You would be surprised." Angelica replies staring into his eyes solemnly.

"Well, this calls for a celebration. I'm going to go grab the wine and some glasses so we can toast to happy endings." Eliza said as she clapped giddly before floating out of the living room and down the hall towards their kitchen.

Alexander released a deep sigh before throwing himself onto the couch.

Following his lead, Angelica gingerly sat down right next to him with their knees touching.

Ensuring Eliza was out of earshot, Alexander leaned closer to her so his voice wouldn't carry throughout the first level.

"When were you going to tell me?" He asked.

"I just did."

"You know what I mean. Why?"

"I need to be happy too, Alexander." She softly stated.

"I know that but I thought you would at least give me a heads up." He said.

His breath was stuck in his throat, and his heart … well, his heart dropped and landed squarely into his stomach. 

"I'll still be your friend." 

"But this changes everything, and you know it." He replied.

"You got married to my sister and it didn't change anything." Angelica reminded, "This changes nothing. At least not between us."

"I'm hearing you and I'm processing what you're saying. Yet, I can't help but feel like I'm losing you." He confessed. 

"You won't lose me." She said grabbing his hands, "You're _not_ losing me."

Looking down at their joined hands, he glanced back at her beautifully open face, soulful eyes, and full lips.

He wanted to touch her. He wanted to wrap his hand around her jaw and caress her face.

He wanted to kiss her. 

But it was too risky, especially with Eliza just right down the hall.

"I want to kiss you." He admitted softly.

"I know, but you can't." 

"What am I supposed to do?"

"Make Eliza a happy woman."

"And you?"

"Just continue being my friend."

"That's not enough."

Angelica simply stared back at him before taking a deep breath.

"If you think you can get away tonight, meet me at my place."

He nodded in agreement.

Hearing Eliza's footsteps softly plodding down the hall, Angelica quickly removed her hands from Alexander’s and scooted away from him, putting some space between them.

"Who's ready for drinks?" Eliza cheerfully asked holding up three glasses.

**Later That Night**

Knocking on the door of Angelica's brownstone, Alexander stuffed his gloved hands back into his pockets.

Trying not to shiver from the below freezing temperatures, he bounced in place to keep warm while he waited. Everything was covered in starkly white snow from the porches to the sidewalks to the street.

Before he could pull out his phone to check the time again, the door swung open.

Looking over her comfortable attire, a smile stretched across her face as he thought about how adorable she looked.

She was wearing a thick, lavender sweater and a pair of jeans paired with a pair of thick gray socks. 

"Come in, come in." She said stepping aside to let him in.

He hurried into her apartment. Standing in her foyer, he quickly felt the effects of warmth from the fireplace.

While staring at the flames of the fire, a pair of small hands landed on his shoulder before sliding down his arms to help him out of his coat. 

Smiling to himself, he made her job easier by removing his arms from the coat. 

Taking the coat in her arms, she placed it on the coat rack behind her.

"Let's sit in front of the fire, so you can warm up a little bit." She said waving towards the creme colored sofa in the living room across from the foyer.

Padding in front of him in her socked feet, he followed behind her like a puppy dog. 

Sitting down on her sofa with one leg folded underneath, she looked up at him and patted the spot next to her.

He obeyed.

"So, tell me about this guy." He blurted out.

"So, we're just going to jump right into the heavy stuff, huh?" She asked before taking a deep breath.

"His name is John Church. His father is my father's business partner." She explained. "We met at a fundraising gala."

Alexander nodded wordlessly. He wasn't surprised to hear that this guy had money.

He knew her soon to be spouse would be wealthy. Alexander had become significantly successful over the past few years, but it still didn't stop the dagger in his heart once she confirmed what he already knew. There was still that weird pang he got once he realized _why_ he and Angelica could never be together.

_Duty over everything, even love._

"He's a good guy. He's mind numbingly boring, but he treats me well." 

"That's good." He said in a tone that didn't belie his true feelings.

Leaning back into her sofa, he blurted out again, "Does he know he's marrying someone who's already in love with someone else?"

"Alexander." She warned.

"What? It's the truth! Does he know that you're in love with me?" 

"Does Eliza know you're in love with me?" She shot back.

"Of course not. If she did, we wouldn't be sitting here having this conversation right now."

"You know why it has to be this way."

"I **do** know, but that doesn't mean I have to accept it."

"I met you first. It should have been me." Angelica replied, mostly to herself.

"It could have been but you made sure it wouldn't be."

"I had to make a sacrifice, Alexander. I won't apologize for that." She stated with pure defiance, "You're still in my life; I still get to see those intelligent eyes and that face, so I don't think I screwed up that badly."

"Angelica," He said closing his eyes and huffed before opening them again, "What are we doing?"

"Saying goodbye."

"No. I won't accept that. You said nothing has to change between us and that's what we're going to do. We'll just have to be more careful."

"You can't even hide your feelings around Eliza. How do you think this is going to work exactly?" She asked throwing her hands up.

"It doesn't matter. We haven't done anything, and you can’t help how you feel." He said shrugging his shoulders.

"The only reason nothing has ever happened is because **I** won't cross that line with you."

"I'm a selfish but weak man, and we both know that." He said. "So, I won't insult your intelligence by denying what you say."

He didn't explicitly say the words, but they both knew what he meant. 

He was selfish enough to know that he would act on his feelings, but he was intelligent enough to know that Angelica wouldn't hurt her sister like that.

It was bad enough that they were carrying on behind her back like this, but they could come back from this if Eliza found out. Or so he thought. 

But he knew for a fact that his marriage wouldn't survive if he gave into his physical urges and made love to Angelica like he wanted. 

He'd imagined it countless times, and he knew it would be earth-shattering, fiery, and passionate. 

He knew he wouldn't be able to stay away from her if they took that next step. She wouldn't be able to get rid of him if she allowed him the chance to feel her, to **be** with her in that way.

But he also knew that it would only lead to heartache and pain for everyone involved. 

Rising to her feet, he glanced up at her towering over him and he was struck by her beauty.

Reaching down to his hands, she grabbed both of his hands and tugged, "Let's go upstairs."

"Angelica …" He warned. 

"We're just going to talk." She said.

"Just talk?"

"Yes."

He didn't know what to make of her demands, but he decided to go along with it anyway. 

Standing to his feet, he found himself captivated by her beautifully rounded, brown eyes; being this close to her made him feel funny, but in a good way. He could even feel her breath on his face. 

Tugging on his hands, she wordlessly commanded him to follow her up the stairs to her bedroom. 

Trekking up the flight of stairs, she opened the door to her bedroom.

Walking into the dark bedroom with him, Angelica bypassed the light switch next to the door and went straight for the lamp on her nightstand. 

Releasing his hands, she bent down and switched the dimmest setting on.

"Take off your clothes." She said.

He couldn't speak. His mind had suddenly gone blank. It was almost as if he forgot how to form words and sentences.

Not waiting for him any longer, she began removing every article of her own clothing until she stood before him in her underwear.

He was struck by the blemish free, smooth, supple skin in front of him. She wore a matching bright pink bra and underwear set, and his mouth watered. The glorious curves on display were enough to make a man drop to his knees and beg for forgiveness for his sinful thoughts. 

He wondered what her nipples looked like, what they _tasted_ like. 

He wondered if she would let him touch her. 

"Just take off your damn clothes, Alexander." Angelica said playfully. "Your clothes are wet from the snow. Just take them off."

He silently took his clothes off until he was standing there in his boxer briefs.

Looking at him from head to toe, she nodded in satisfaction. He wondered if she liked what she saw. She didn't seem disgusted, so he took that as a good sign. 

Pulling the covers back on her bed, she got in and motioned for him to join her. 

Slowly walking towards her bed, he thought about it for a split second before biting the bullet and climbing in.

Her back was facing him and he scooted closer to her back until they were spooning.

He kept his hands to himself until she reached back and grabbed his hand and placed it across her midsection.

"Just stay here with me for awhile." Angelica begged.

He wouldn't deny her what she wanted. He couldn't even if he wanted to.

Gripping her tighter, he enjoyed the feel of her smooth skin pressed up against his and the delicious feel of her limbs entangled with his.

He kept his lower half away from her; they were fairly open with each other, but he didn't want her to feel what she did to him.

Alexander knew neither of them were prepared for that situation. 

Deeply inhaling her scent, he was suddenly overcome with a deep warmth that took root in the middle of his belly before spreading throughout his entire body.

_This is where I belong._

"Do you ever think about what might have happened had we dated?" Angelica whispered. 

"All the time." He admitted, "But I came to the conclusion that we probably would have broken up at some point and we would have ended up hating each other."

"What?" She said turning her head to look at him.

"We're too similar; we're both too pigheaded, too stubborn, too _ambitious_." He gently explained. 

"I don't believe that for one second." She said turning back around to face her window.

They both remained silent before Angelica spoke again; and if he were standing up, she could have knocked him off his feet with her next words.

"Alexander, do you believe in soulmates?"

"If you would have asked me this 7 years ago, I would have said no. But now, I'm not so sure." He carefully stated not wanting to scare her off with the truth. 

"Well, I do." Angelica said, "I think we're soulmates. I think we could have overcome those trials and tribulations. We probably would have had the same problems as everyone else, but I don't think it would have …. **broken** us.”

With those words, Alexander couldn't help but grip her tighter.

He didn't care if she felt his erection; she allowed him to see the naked truth from her heart, and his love for her grew ten times over. She spilled her heart out to him, and he was grateful for her transparency.

He wanted her to somehow feel a semblance of what she just made him feel. He knew there wasn't anything else he could do that wouldn't cross that arbitrary line, but he wanted her to know that he felt the same way.

Alexander just wanted to be closer to her.

Holding her was the only thing keeping him from doing anything else.

The thought filled him with so much joy and happiness, but he knew it didn't matter. It **couldn't** matter.

Not when there was a bright and cheerful elephant in the room that both of them loved and never wanted to hurt. 

"You can't say things like that." Alexander said.

"Why not? It's true."

"It _is_ true, but my self control is hanging by a thread right now."

Angelica giggled at that statement.

Hearing her giggle made him smile.

“I'm surprised that **that** never happened honestly." She said. 

"It's good that it didn't, because I doubt you would be able to get rid of me afterwards." He confessed.

"I've thought about it a few times. What it would be like, how I would feel, how **you** would feel." She explained.

Alexander tightly closed his eyes in an attempt to hold onto his last bit of self control and sanity.

"Judging by that," Angelica said pushing her butt into his erection, "You're not as unaffected as you portray."

"Angelica, I've always been attracted to you."

"Is that right?"

"Yes." He whispered huskily.

"In that case, likewise." Angelica replied. 

They lay in silence holding each other for about five minutes before Angelica broke the silence.

“What did you tell Eliza to get out of the house tonight anyway?”

“I told her that John needed someone to nurse him back to health after getting extremely wasted tonight.” He said.

Laughing loudly at his answer, Angelica shook her head at his rather creative lie.

It didn’t take long before the two of them fell into another comfortable silence.

Before they both knew it, they had fallen asleep wrapped in each other’s arms in Angelica’s bed.

They would deal with the aftermath of their actions in the morning. But right now, they wanted to enjoy each other one last time before reality set in and the world stole their shared moments away.

**Author's Note:**

> After you guys did so well with reading my last one-shot, I didn't hesitate to post this one. Granted, I've never been in this predicament before so I wasn't sure how I wanted to deliver this piece. I wasn't sure if I wanted to make you guys miss me a little bit and wait or if I just wanted to throw it all at you at once. 
> 
> Regardless, I was finished with this one a few days ago and I couldn't keep it to myself any longer. As always, let me know what you think. If you like it, please leave a kudos or comment. If you like these stories/one-shots or my writing, then the only way I'll know is if you do either/or or do both. Always remember - creators need motivation to keep going.


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